You’re so excited you’re practically bouncing off the walls. This idea—your best ever—is not only going to save the company tens of thousands of dollars this year, it’s eventually going to be a moneymaker. Following your presentation, however, three colleagues sit unresponsively before you, reminding you of the three wise monkeys and the proverb “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” You stare back at them in idiotic wonder: why don’t they want what you want—especially when it’s clearly the best thing for the company?

Almost everyone has had this experience at one time or another, and the reason for it is simple. When you make a presentation instead of having a conversation about an idea, you can’t guess what’s going on in the minds of your audience. Do they get what you’re saying? Do they like it? Do they like you?

Some idea people really don’t care what others hear or how they react. These movers and shakers pride themselves on being able to create and implement ideas on their own. On the other hand, other people care more about interpersonal relationships than ideas. For them, what’s truly important is being aware of and sensitive to the needs, notions, and feelings of colleagues, not bringing great ideas to life.

Intend to Involve Others

Being exclusively an idea person or a relationship person limits your effectiveness in the workplace. The way to bring an idea to life is to focus simultaneously on its development and enhancing relationships with coworkers. If you go into the conference room with the intention of sharing your idea and involving others in shaping, strengthening, and implementing it, your audience will engage in the innovation process, and you’ll emerge with superior results and stronger bonds between people. This is the first principle for pulling people together to drive change.

Recognize Resistance

People resist ideas—and those who generate them—for three reasons. Either they don’t get the idea (Level 1 resistance), they don’t like it the idea (Level 2 resistance), or they don’t like you (Level 3 resistance). If you identify the levels of resistance you’re facing and can work through them, you can turn opposition into support.

For example, if someone doesn’t understand your idea, find a different way to explain it. Offer data, examples, and anecdotes to make concepts clearer. If people exhibit Level 2 or 3 resistance when you make a suggestion, expressing “I don’t like it” or “I don’t like you” in their words or actions, their emotions have gotten involved. You need to listen carefully to what they are saying and engage in conversational give-and-take to get at the deeper issues underlying their resistance.

Consider the Context

Context involves time, place, and relationships, and it is the key to the success or failure of your idea. Interpersonal and other contextual “land mines” are scattered throughout most work environments. If you don’t survey the territory thoroughly and step carefully, you’ll set off the mines, causing you and your idea to suffer. Context includes the following:

n Your relationship history with colleagues and coworkers
n The way ideas have traditionally been presented and received in your company
n The impact your idea may have on others—for instance, how it might threaten someone’s job or status
n How the idea might fit within the current economy
n Your company’s recent financial performance

Avoid Knee-Jerk Reactions

When someone cuts you off in traffic, is your impulse to speed up and express your dissatisfaction? Speeding is a knee-jerk reaction to the “trigger” of being cut off. Not only does this response not help the situation; it actually could cause an accident and turn what might have been a relatively minor irritation into a very big deal. The better response? Take a few deep breaths and slow down to put some space between you and the inconsiderate driver in front of you. It’s the smarter and safer way to react.

Slowing down and breathing deeply is also a smart response to triggers in the corporate conference room. When someone resists your idea by saying, “I don’t like it; it’s stupid,” you may be tempted to have one of the following knee-jerk reactions:

n Defensiveness—saying, “No, you’re stupid.”
n Sarcasm—replying, “Why don’t you grace us with one of your wonderfully creative ideas, then?”
n Force of reason—believing that if you explain the idea repeatedly, the person will see its wisdom and beauty and like it
n Moving ahead—acting as if the resistance—and the resister—don’t exist

The best way to avoid knee-jerking is to discover your triggers and practice stepping back, breathing, consciously relaxing your body and mind, and focusing your attention on positively reconnecting with the resistant people.

Pay Attention

Attempt to detect every detail. You can’t influence others if you don’t pick up on the positive and negative signals they send. Watch their body language, verbal cues, tone of voice, and so forth. Listen to their concerns with a willingness to be changed and to see your idea develop beyond your original conception. Observe the interactions between you and your associates. Note what kinds of actions—or inactions—follow the group’s decision to proceed with your idea. The power of paying attention should guide your efforts to bring the idea to implementation.

Shut up and Listen

Want to know what others need or want from you? Wish you knew if they understood your idea…or if they trust you? The only way to get answers to these questions is to dig deeply, putting your goal aside temporarily. Check in with the other people, and then be quiet and listen to what they have to say—even when their answers make you uncomfortable.

Connect without Compromise

Make room for others to join you in developing your idea—and be ready and willing to turn it into our idea. When others see that you’re eager to hear their fears and concerns, be influenced by what they have to say, and blend your goals with theirs, their opposition will turn into support, and everyone wins.